Dear Amy: I have been married to my husband for almost 20 years. Unlike my side of the family, which usually sends out an invitation weeks before an event, my husband’s side only sends out invitations two to three days before, even though we all live hours apart.

Amy dickinson

Honestly, between our kids ‘busy schedules and booking a dog sitter, we would need at least two or three weeks’ notice to attend an out of town event.

For years I thought they were just last minute planners. I got used to juggling / canceling plans and begging a dog sitter to go to their place.

What I have realized over the past two years is that only we are getting the last minute invitation. The three older brothers and their parents often make plans in advance and simply exclude us (including going on a trip together in a large group, and not telling us until they’ve returned home).

I am now firmly convinced that they do not want us to attend family functions. I don’t think they hate us. There has never been a drama. I just don’t think we’re interesting to them. My stepmom plays the sideburns.

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